OK! I am convinced.
I can not maintain my skepticism in the light of this incontrovertible evidence. The Virgin Mary, or a giant penis with a Hitler haircut has appeared on the wall of an underpass in the form of a salt stain from the road runoff. Whether it is the blessed Virgin or the giant Hitler dong, it can not be denied that something supernatural is happening. The scientists are baffled, the skeptics are silenced (unless you talk to them) and no one can explain what is going on here. I could not imagine that God would allow a world where such salt stains could form and confuse the faithful. Ergo it is a miracle. I bet if you pressed your lips against the holy apparition you would taste the holy tears of the mother of God. This could be Pope Jean Paul II's first miracle since he and the Virgin were tight - um... I mean close friends.
I must convert to Catholicism at once. Where do you get those beads that you use to get closer to God? I asked a friend of mine but she sent me to a sex shop so she must have misunderstood.
Update: Wait a second. Giant Prick, Hitler hair cut, salty, appearance in a dank, dark underpass... It is obvious!
(AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)