Saturday, May 28, 2005

ALL YOUR CHILDREN ARE BELONG TO US!

Is your religion mainstream enough to expose your children to? Not if you are a Wiccan in Indianapolis. Now everyone knows that this judge has no leg to stand on with this. He was either smoking crack in his chambers or is being blackmailed by some snakehandler preacher who has pictures of him with an elephant seal in a seedy hotel room. But a win is a win for fundamentalists.

Once this goes to the supremes and they have to strike it down, Frist and Delay can cry about judicial activists even though anyone with half a brain can see that a court barring a parent from teaching their child their religion is so unconstitutional as to call the sanity of the judiciary of
Indiana into question. Since Wicca is the fastest growing religion in North America they will have to either drop the Spanish inquisition mindset or start dropping Christian sects from constitutional protection as Wicca surpasses them. If you assume that the Wiccan fraction is the cut off point to be considered mainstream then many non-Christian sects like Scientology are already "illegally" exposing their kids to their faith, though, given the corporate structure of that group, child labour laws may be more appropriate then any religious litmus tests (I call no lawsuits! Can't tag the butcher!). But the Unitarians, while apparently growing in number are only at double the number for Wiccans and if Wicca is growing as fast as demographers claim they had better have their children now if they want to raise them in their faith. Once the pagans eclipses them they are out of here.

Buddhists and Muslims have some more breathing room but only a little. They are each five times as large as the Wiccans but at 0.5% of the U.S. population they should hope that the definition of mainstream does not get much stricter. It may not matter, if the constitution gets torn up to protect it from "activist judges" they can just draw the line at anyone who is not a Baptist. There are enough forms of Baptist to still make the claim to being a religiously free nation even if just under 50% don't think so. If the Jedi religion merges with the Wiccans and technopagans the Baptists will really be sweating. Imagine three fast growing minorities merging into a single group composed of hackers with lightsabers and mistletoe. That even makes me nervous.

7 Comments:

At Sat May 28, 10:21:00 PM 2005, Blogger alice said...

It's good that you called' "no lawsuits" in the case of Scientology. I understand they are a pretty litigious group. I was once approached by an organization associated with them. They wanted me to produce some cabinetry for their AV equipment. When I found out who they were (thank god for the internet) I decided to pass on the project, but I found myself making up all kinds of plausible excuses, other than the real one, which was I didn't want to do business with them. I could just see myself in court being sued for discrimination.

 
At Sun May 29, 03:11:00 AM 2005, Blogger Apesnake said...

The really funny thing about Scientology (like there is just one right?) is that if they were not so paranoid and lawsuit happy, not to mention the even weirder things they have been alleged to have done to shut their critics up (some story about the bloody bathroom lady comes to mind) they would not be any (or much) wackier than a lot of (or most) other religions out there. They seem to be their own worst enemy and being such is their most successful endeavour.

If they join up with the Jedi/technopagan/Wiccans we will have LAWYER-hackers with lightsabers and mistletoe. The horror.

Oh, and that no lawsuits call covers Alice's comment, this comment and any subsequent comments and posts on this blog in perpetuity with no take backsies and applies to George Lucas and the Jedi religion as well (I saw how you freaks tried to take over the galaxy with your mutant green hobbit leader and your witchcraft powers - I'm on to you, you rebel scum!). While I am not as worried about Lucas suing me, I would not want Scientology lawyers OR smelly wookies busting down my door. You wookies stay away from Alice too! (Unless she is in to that kind of thing and then... well who am I to judge? Maybe wookies really have a delightful musk and great senses of humour or have some other attributes that women really dig.)

50 points if you can tell the wookies from the lawyers.

To see if their beliefs are much nuttier than other religions, (saying nothing about how they go about defending them) compare Scientology's story about aliens vaporized in a volcano and then possessing human beings which then need to be cleared out by holding special metal rods - as discovered by (this always gets me) a science fiction writer, verses a boat full of pre-Hebrews (Prebrews?) and their captain Noah (as in "I have Noah idea which way land is") and the magical mystery tour.

[Come to think of it I think I told someone sometime ago that I would address Noah’s flood in a post so I might just do that next.]

 
At Sun May 29, 12:28:00 PM 2005, Blogger alice said...

I spent a year in scientology land while still in high school. I was one of those gullible kids they would give "personality tests" to on street corners. My parents didn't protest because at least scientology was against drug use.

I had no idea aliens had been vaporized and were posessing humans. The nerve! What I learned about was that the human mind was infested with "engrams" and if you paid a lot of money, you could hold on to two tin cans and get cleared of them. I guess you had to pay full freight to get the real story.

Unfortunatly I didn't have the cash.

Maybe there is an L.Ron- Noah connection since they are both sea captains.

Ever hear of "the Process"?... another group trolling the streets of Chicago in my youth, looking for converts. Scarey stuff!

 
At Mon May 30, 09:06:00 PM 2005, Blogger Brad Warbiany said...

Don't be too hard on Indiana... They're a little bit backwards there. After all, they just got daylight-savings time.

 
At Mon May 30, 10:42:00 PM 2005, Blogger Apesnake said...

Brad said...
"Don't be too hard on Indiana... They're a little bit backwards there. After all, they just got daylight-savings time."

Funny, I thought that daylight savings time was invented by places like Indiana. I don't think Saskatchewan as it either. You know for a scheme that was dreamed up to give farmers more time to get to town it seems interesting that so many rural agricultural places have been opting out of it. Maybe it is a plot to keep the city folk confused.

I have heard that some states like California have tried promoting scientology in prisons because they condemn mental health treatment. Since prisons have to provide free anti-psychotic meds and psychotherapy, the can save money by spreading the faith. Scientology gets some credibility for their "programs" so everyone wins (except for the prisoners and taxpayers who need to deal with these untreated wack jobs when they get out.

Alice - I am not sure but I think that the engrams are caused by or a result of the aliens. Apparently the whole story is too sensitive to get all at once. If you pay for enough courses (like in the millions of dollars worth) I hear they take you on a boat like the one that L. Ron owned and they tell you that he was God. But this point you are so messed up you either have a nervous break down after finding how stupid the whole thing is or you buy in hook line and sinker or else you realize it is crap and buy in to the scam to get rich. That would probably be my choice if I could afford to get all the way to the boat.

L. Ron may have brought two of every kind of Scientologist on board. That is another thing I am unsure of.

 
At Mon May 30, 10:44:00 PM 2005, Blogger Apesnake said...

I have never heard of "The Process" It sounds fun and frightening at the same time. I will need to do some surfing.

 
At Tue May 31, 02:37:00 AM 2005, Blogger alice said...

Check out the "process church of the final judgement". I think the were refugees from scientology...probably couldn't come up with the class fees.

Vaporized aliens!

 

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