Thursday, January 05, 2006

Jim Bakker Back in the Saddle

After being sentenced to 45 years in prison, Jim Bakker was released 5 years later. Apparently the parole board was not the type to take things literally.

Bakker is now convicted of fraud. But luckily for him, being convicted of fraud is not the same blow to a con-man's career as it once was (just ask Kevin Trudeau). It might be cynical of me to think that the reason con-men can maintain their reputations after being caught red-handed has something to do with the fact that schools across North America flat-out refuse to teach students the basic tools to evaluate information and critically examine arguments but I don't mind being called cynical. I suppose that to really earn the label of cynical, I should note that if you scratch beneath the surface you will find connections between the people who decide on school curricula and the people who campaign for political parties using sound bites, vacuous slogans, sophistries and other verbal pollution.

But lets get back to Jim Bakker. After his humiliation and exposure, if he were to return to the "ministry" he would certainly be a changed man; a humble servant of God. Right?

"At one point in the sermon, Bakker said he predicted the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. At another point, he claimed to have predicted that New Orleans would be devastated by a hurricane. He said he would reveal other revelations during the second part of his sermon Saturday, but only if there was no media present."
If the media are present they might report the news for free while Bakker is probably charging an entrance fee for it. While they were there, they might have ask him for some kind of evidence that he predicted September 11th and Hurricane Katrina. Hey Jim, I predicted them too. Can I get a speaking engagement now?
"He said six years ago God revealed to him 31 things that would happen during the biblical last days."
My favorite line of this Article is when Jim is quoted as saying "I don't profess to be a prophet".
Yes he does! He just gets done saying that God talks to him and he predicts the future. What exactly is he professing to be? If you say that God talks to you and you can predict the future you are claiming to be one of two things: a prophet or a big fat liar. Since he then claims not to be a prophet, I guess we are to come to the only other conclusion available. At least he is coming closer to being honest about it than ever before. For Jim, telling a lie that is so bold-faced that it can not possibly be believed is as close to the truth as he can get. His audience still gave him a standing ovation though. Mind boggling!

I am not a big fan of organized religion but if one is going shopping for one, should one not be expected to use some common sense? Is God really likely to send important updates on his future plans for the planet through a convicted con-man? Surely there are a couple of clean clerics left in the world for God to call on. At least with Pat Robertson you get to buy diet drinks while you get your spiritual instruction. Hell, Scientology will zap all the space ghosts out of you while you worship (oh wait, Scientologists don't worship anything - except maybe Hubbard's ass [I CALL "NO LAWSUITS"!! Humor... satire... all in good fun]). All Jim offers is 31 pieces of God's gossip. It is aught-six now Jimmy. You need promotional gimmicks.

I think I will try to help Jim out with an idea for marketing his comeback. Prayer oil, prayer cloths, prepackaged vials of holy water and sacred underwear have all been taken. What about offering stained glass prescription eye wear? Correct your vision miraculously while the colors of Saint Barnabas inspire your mind.

You know, I really should get into this industry. The freedom of religion concept is the best liability insurance going as long as you keep your finances clean and there is no tax on the prophets/profits. Of course, I will need to stop griping about schools not teaching critical thinking skills. Something to think about.


At Wed. Apr. 06, 10:45:00 a.m. 2011, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you.


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