Tuesday, February 21, 2006

More Things Which Offend Muslims: Ice Cream.

Thank God for the Muslim Council of Britain for keeping Britlamabad safe from the dessert treats of the Crusaders (and thank Hubbard for Sandmonkey for his post which informed me of this).

Burger King put the word Allah on the lid of their dessert, cleverly disguised as a spinning ice cream cone. While the Muslim Council of Britain is satisfied with Burger Infidel's decision to spend thousands of pounds on redesigning the lid, the first Muslim to be offended is not. "business development manager Rashad Akhtar, 27, of High Wycombe" is hoping to organize a boycott of Burger King until all Christians go back in time and stop the crusades.

If I had been present to advise Burger King I could have saved them the money by drafting the following letter:


Dear business development manager Rashad Akhtar, 27, of High Wycombe and
the Muslim Council of Britain.

Thank you for your interest in our dessert treat. We feel that your problem with seeing the word "Allah" on the lid of your ice cream dessert would be better solved by you not being insane. Try working on that. If the Muslim Council of Britain feels that this is an issue which needs to be taken seriously perhaps we could print a new napkin for our establishments which would have the words "The Muslim Council of Britain are crack-smoking nutbars" on them to help educate the public on the relevant facts of this controversy.

If that is your wish, please let us know by cutting the head off someone. Once again thank you for contacting Burger King with your concerns.

Yours truly,
Spooky Plastic-Headed King dude.

PS. In the interest of full disclosure, all of the milk in our bread products and beverages is from pigs. We should have let you know sooner but better late than never right?

Oh and BTW has Piglet been stoned to death yet? If pigs are so haraam, why do Muslims tolerate them on their planet. There are plenty of wild pigs wander around the earth and I think before people pitch a hissy about cartoony pigs they should wage a good attempt at a jihad on boars, sows, and other real pig type animals. Where the hell are their priorities?

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